I will very shortly be financially independent at last. My parents have pulled themselves out of my life, and I think it's for the best. My therapist says that I need a good two or three years away from them in order to build a healthy relationship down the line.

They do nothing but rip me up inside, and I don't need them anymore. My friend Liz put it really well. She said, "Parents are like candy. They're really yummy and fun when they're healthy, but otherwise you really don't need them." That's where I am now. They are toxic, and I don't need them poisoning me anymore.

Every time I've cut recently it's been because I can't deal with some of the things they say. My mom still blames me for the fact that I was a rotten child, and I don't know how to fix it. It's so fucking frustrating! I don't know how to make it better, and I could spend the rest of my life torturing myself over it, but nothing I do will ever make it up to her.

Fuck it, I say! Fuck it all! Master Dedrick is dead, Abby is dead, my old life is dead. I can't go back to the way I was before, and I can't continue to punish myself over the things I did or did not do in the past.

The damage is done and the future is calling me. I won't ignore it through premature death or selfish suicide. I won't leave this world without making my dreams realities. I won't leave behind a body covered in scars like a roadmap of my pain. Fuck it all, I tell you! I'm following a new road, one paved with yellow bricks, only I don't need any wizards to save me.

Maybe he raped her, maybe he didn't. Maybe they're pathetic, maybe they're not. Maybe if I continue doing what's right, everything will end up where it should.